You had it clear in your head in the waiting room. All of it.
Then you got about three minutes of actual talking time, and it came out as a list. Tired. Not sleeping. A bit anxious. Joints ache. Brain feels like fog. Periods have gone odd.
And every single one of those has an obvious innocent explanation, and the person opposite you has heard each one twenty times this week from somebody for whom it was the innocent explanation.
So you got stress. Or low mood. Or a suggestion to get more rest.
And then you walked out, and somewhere between the door and the car you remembered the four things you actually meant to say.
Then, because the appointment went badly, you started to wonder whether you had overstated it. Whether you are being dramatic. Whether it really is just stress.
This is the actual kit
That is the real cover, and the pages behind it are two real spreads from inside: the one page template you hand over, and the three questions to ask before the appointment ends.
- 42 pages, PDF, opens on your phone or your desktop
- The one page template, ready to fill in and print
- The Appointment Pack strips it to three pages to take with you
You are not imagining it, and it is not really about you
North American Menopause Society, 2021.
Newson Health Research and Education, survey of 5,000 women, and reported survey data.
Those are difficult numbers and none of them is the important one. This is:
The Menopause Society.
Read it again, because it changes what this actually is.
The third explanation, and it is the true one
Right now you believe one of two things. Either you are exaggerating, or your doctor does not care.
The evidence points at a third thing, and it is both truer and far more useful than either.
The appointment is about ten minutes. You arrive with somewhere between fifteen and thirty symptoms that crept in over two or three years, most of which do not sound related to each other when you say them out loud. And there is roughly a four in five chance that the person opposite you was never formally taught this subject.
So they do what any human does with an incomplete, unstructured, verbally delivered list under time pressure. They pattern match to the nearest familiar thing.
That is not a conspiracy. It is mostly not even carelessness.
It is what happens when nobody wrote anything down.
Which is the good news, and here is why
It means the one thing that reliably changes the outcome is the one thing entirely within your control.
Not persuading anybody. Not arguing. Not finding a better doctor, although the kit covers that too.
Arriving with it already written down, dated, organised, and short enough to be read.
What makes your symptoms mean something is not the list. It is the pattern: how many there are, that they all began in the same window, and how they track against your cycle. And a pattern is exactly the thing that cannot survive being said out loud in a rush.
A pattern has to be seen. Which means it has to be on paper.
Across 11 weeks logged: hot flushes cluster in the 5 days before bleeding. Anxiety and sleep are worst in the same window. Joint pain does not vary with cycle.
A clinician can do something with that. It is the difference between a complaint and a dataset.
Same woman. Same symptoms. Same ten minutes. Completely different consultation.
What you actually get
What is inside, by what it changes
| Part | What changes |
|---|---|
| One. Why the ten minutes goes wrong | You stop believing the problem was that you were unconvincing |
| Two. The record | Sixty seconds a day, nine items. Plus the fourteen day version if your appointment is next week, and how to reconstruct three years you never wrote down |
| Three. The one page | Six blocks, in the order they get read. Including the part almost everybody gets wrong, which is cutting it down to one page |
| Four. In the room | What to say as you hand it over, the three questions, and the sentence for when the appointment is ending and you have not asked them |
| Five. When you are dismissed | How to recognise it, the one question to ask, and the six steps afterwards in order. Notes, numbers, a different clinician, referral criteria |
| Six. After, and the next one | The twenty minutes in the car park, and why the second appointment should be half the length of the first |
This is for you if
- You have a note on your phone with about thirty things on it, and you have never once managed to get through it in the room.
- You have read an enormous amount about this online and none of it has been usable in an actual appointment, which somehow made you feel worse rather than better.
- You were told you were too young, and you did not have anything with you to say otherwise, so you just said okay.
- You keep meaning to start writing it down, and you have not, because it feels like admitting how bad it has got.
- You have been back twice already and you are deciding whether it is worth going a third time, and you already know you are going to go.
It also works if you are the one helping. Part Six is written for partners, adult children, sisters and friends, and it is mostly about the two jobs you have in the room and the one thing that helps most, which is not medical.
Read this before you buy
This kit does not tell you what treatment to have. It does not recommend, discourage or assess any treatment, including hormone therapy, and it never will.
That is not a disclaimer bolted on the end. It is the whole design.
You have already read forty contradictory opinions online about what you should be taking. You do not need a forty first from a stranger who has never met you.
So if you are here for an answer about treatment, this is the wrong purchase and you should not make it. Nothing in these 42 pages will tell you what to take.
What it does is preparation, documentation and asking well. It turns three years of scattered symptoms into one page somebody can read in ninety seconds, gives you the questions in the order that works, and tells you exactly what to do if you are dismissed.
What happens after that is between you and your clinician. This only makes sure you get to have the conversation properly.
And it will not make the system faster. One third of women wait at least three years, and preparation does not remove that. What it does is make each appointment count for more, so that six visits build on each other instead of each one starting from nothing.
Nineteen dollars
Eighteen per cent of women went back an average of six times before they got the help they needed.
The kit costs less than the parking for those six visits.
The Menopause Appointment Kit, 42 pages, PDF
The Appointment Pack, 7 pages, built to be printed
The 12 week symptom log, 84 days, CSV
Instant download. No app, no login, no subscription.
Paid by card through Stripe. We never see your card details.
The refund
Thirty days. Email and say the word refund. There is no form and I will not ask you why.
You will know within twenty minutes of opening it whether this is going to help you, because the one page template is in the first third and you will either look at it and think yes, that is what I have been missing, or you will not.
Questions
What format is it, and how fast do I get it?
PDF, three files. The kit, the printable Appointment Pack and the symptom log CSV. The download link appears the moment you pay and is emailed to you as well. No app, no account, no login.
My appointment is in three days. Is it too late?
No. Chapter 5 is the fourteen day version and chapter 6 is a twenty minute method for reconstructing a symptom history you never recorded, using anchor dates, old photographs and your own text messages. You can build a genuinely useful one page from memory alone. Do not delay an appointment you have already waited for in order to collect a longer log.
Does it tell me whether I should be on HRT?
No, deliberately, and it never will. It takes no position on any treatment. It prepares you for the conversation. It does not have the conversation for you and it does not tell you how it should end.
Does this work outside the UK, or the US?
Yes. Nothing in it depends on one health system. It is about recording symptoms, building the one page, what to say, and what to do if you are dismissed, and those are the same in any system with short appointments. The glossary explains the terms you will hear either way.
Is this medical advice?
No. It does not diagnose, treat or recommend treatment for anything. It is a preparation and record keeping tool. Decisions about investigation and treatment are for you and a qualified clinician.
I have already been dismissed twice. Is there any point?
Read Part Five first, then start the log. Going back with a dated record is a different event from going back to try again. And 18% of women went back an average of six times before they got the help they needed, which means persisting is the documented median path, not evidence that you were wrong.
Can I buy it for someone else?
Yes, and a lot of people do. Forward them the download email. Part Six is written specifically for the person helping, and the most useful part of it is not medical.
42 page kit, 7 page printable pack, 84 day symptom log. Instant PDF.
30 day refund, no questions and no form.
You cannot control who you get, or how long you get.
You can control whether it is written down and in their hand.
This kit is not medical advice. It does not diagnose, treat or recommend treatment for any condition, and it takes no position on any treatment including hormone therapy. It is a preparation and record keeping tool. Decisions about investigation and treatment are for you and a qualified clinician. If you have symptoms that concern you, particularly any sudden or severe symptom, contact a medical professional or emergency service rather than a book.